I don’t know why, but I recently noticed that I have an uncanny knack for knowing useless facts about musical artists and celebrities. I also find it funny that I speak their names on a first-name basis, as if we are old friends and go way back, like “I can’t believe Ben and Jen are divorcing! I wonder how the kids will take it.”
I had an interview a couple weeks ago and found myself spouting off random information about Rihanna and Jay Z. No, I’ve never met them, nor have I ever attended one of their concerts. I’m also a whiz when it comes to watching “Hollywood Game Night.” (Is it weird that I literally LOL by myself when the actors/actresses say or do something funny?)
If an actor or actress is on my list of favorites, I take it personal when something bad happens to him or her; for instance, I still haven’t forgiven Brad and Angelina for their affair. Poor Jen, but congrats to her and Justin. Am I right? (In case you didn’t know, let me fill you in: She and Justin Theroux were recently married in a surprisingly secretive ceremony.) And, yes, her gal-pals (Lisa Kudrow and Courteney Cox, who is originally from Birmingham, Alabama, thank you) were in attendance.
Also, if a powerhouse couple has a kid, I’m always eager to scope out a picture of the newborn; I want to see if he or she looks more like the dad, mom, bodyguard, nanny, personal fitness trainer, etc. I read somewhere that the Jolie-Pitt twins’ photos drew in approximately $11 million dollars from People and Hello! magazines just to be published. Why would someone pay that much just for a few photos? … Because of people like me.
When I heard that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart split, my heart wept for him. But, at the same time, I kind of rejoiced because I thought “there’s still a chance” (although he is now engaged to British singer FKA Twigs). When I learned that Channing Tatum was born in Cullman, Alabama, I would talk about him like he was part of the family. (Btw, I think it’s adorable that he and his wife, Jenna Dewan, met while on the set of “Step Up,” in which they were each other’s love interest.)
I grew up pairing actors and actresses together. I should have been the matchmaker to the stars. Honestly, don’t you think things could’ve worked for Kelly and Zack (otherwise known as Tiffani Thiessen and Mark-Paul Gosselaar from “Saved by the Bell”)?
I think that if I could ever have the opportunity to hang out with Zooey Deschanel or Jennifer Lawrence, we’d easily become best friends. Going on road trips to the beach would be awesome. On our way, we could pick up Zach Galifianakis or Will Ferrell for some more laughs and swing by the Hemsworths’ house because … Well, we’d need some eye candy while relaxing in the sand.