Everyone could agree that the perspective of a 32-year-old woman differs from that of a 3-year-old girl. But, what some don’t understand is that the 3 year old’s behavior is learned and reflects the lives of those she has grown up around. Remember: “It takes a village to raise a child.”
For instance, I can look into the eyes of my future stepdaughter and read one of three things: 1) She loves me and enjoys mimicking my every move; 2) she is being mischievous and is about to attempt something she knows she probably shouldn’t; and, 3) she becomes mad and sometimes cries when she doesn’t get her way.
The funny thing, though, is that this erratic female behavior unknowingly follows us throughout our entire lives, and usually in that order. When you’re young and start developing feelings for the opposite sex, you become enamored with a particular person and love completely blindsides you. It might be puppy love, but those stupid butterflies won’t stop flapping in your stomach and that, as I call it, nauseous feeling creeps in to the point you can’t eat, sleep or even go to a store without the thought of that person. You find yourself taking interest in weird things like wrestling, NASCAR (gag me) and Southern rock/hardcore “screamo” bands that literally make you want to pull out your eardrums and beat your younger “self” in the head for ever considering that as REAL music. (Or, maybe this is just my personal experience.)
Then, you start acting mischievously. You know what I’m talking about. You finally have the guy’s attention; he’s asked you out on a few dates, and now you two are officially an item. … Or, are you? Now, 100 odd-ball questions start filling your brain and you become insecure. The next time you see Mr. “WhereHaveYouBeenAllMyLife,” you start saying goofy things like, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” or “I think this would be a perfect song for a wedding,” and my personal favorite, “How many kids would you like to have?” Want to see how fast you can lose a guy? That last question will have you single in no time.
Get ready for the boo-hoos! You put the final nail in your “old maid” coffin by scaring off the dude, and please check one of these cliché phrases if you’ve heard them before: “It’s not you; it’s me,” “I need a break,” “I think we should see other people,” “I need some ME time,” and “I love you and care for you, but I’m not ready to commit right now (at least not to one girl anyway).” So, you cry and become mad because you don’t get your way. You “ugly sob” for hours to your mom, sister, friends, etc., and vow to never fall in love again. You pray for months—after praying that he will either become fat, break out in hives or lose a limb—that he’ll return and be yours forever. But, alas, he does not.
Years and years and YEARS later, all of your friends are married, some with children, and you are the last of your group of gal pals to even find a date to their kid’s wedding. OK, maybe not THAT many years later, but a friend of mine actually tried to set me up with a guy that hunts turkeys for a living just so we could get married and have kids so that my friend’s kid could have a playmate to grow up with. Now, there is nothing wrong with hunting turkeys, but I honestly have nothing in common with a guy who considers turkey hunting his occupation.
So, you go about your business, putting your career first, hanging out with friends, finding more hobbies, and just when you least expect it … BAM! Your “Christian Mingle” profile is being viewed by the guy you almost didn’t send a corny online message to. Within the first four days, you’ve already broken your No. 1 rule of not saying, “I love you” within the first two months and suddenly said it over the phone within the first four days of knowing the guy. Within the first three months of having met him, you quit your job, packed up your SUV and moved almost 1,000 miles from home to be with him.
In the end, being 32 and 3 are similar in many ways: You love, you act out, you cry and become mad, but you still believe in “happily ever after.” Now, you’re probably thinking … “Would you let your daughter meet a guy online and move across the country to be with him?” … Well, she is 3 years old right now, so ask me again after 30 more years.